In the afterward, following a big event or a bunch of things accomplished, I’ve come to expect the down that often accompanies the build-up.
It can be such an odd, lonely time. Like a multi-day emotional hangover while everyone else seems to be marching forward and onto the next big thing.
When I’m feeling particularly depleted and these waves of solitude/introspection/reflection roll over me (or knock me on my ass), I usually experience a confusing mix of feelings.
Some big, some small. Some loud, some subtle.
*Surrender, with a side of frustration + wondering if I’m just lazy.
*Guilt, with a side of anticipation + transparent wisps of sadness.
*Pleasure, with a side of rage + a question of can I sustain this?
*Joy, with a side of relief + fear that it will slip through my fingers if I clutch it too tightly.
And I wonder, what if I don’t have to power through this stuff?
What if I let the confusing feelings be okay?
Feelings don’t really tell you much about yourself, anyway, unless you ascribe them a deeper meaning… because they are just feelings.
And because we are more than the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.
Anyway, these uncomfortable in-between times can be times of preparing. Not all doing looks like achieving and charging ahead. It’s okay not to look forward at the expense of being here, being in it.
A challenge for you:
In between activities, as you move from thing to thing (even if it’s fridge to couch, couch to bathroom), pause and send a greeting to the more tender parts of yourself.